THAT TIME I MOURNED THE LIFE I WOULD NEVER HAVE/TRIED TO UNWITTINGLY F MY LIFE UP

So one time I told myself that I would never have a good life.

That I would never be happy.

That I would never be successful.

That I would never find a man that would love me for who I truly am.

That I would never have children or a family.

That I would never have a cool job that I enjoyed & also paid well.